She really does seem to be doing everything in her power to make me think that she's become or has always been an idiot. There goes my teens. And my twenties, for that matter. Her and Roseanne need to shut the fuck up and leave my developing years as they were—troubled and covertly understood only by sitcom and pop… » 3/23/15 3:15pm Monday 3:15pm

Screaming jihad in an airplane and rushing the cockpit is really just code for "I want you to catch and hold me. Immediately. Very tightly. Now take me to a small and secure location. For an extended period. Thanks. I'm calm now. I needed that. Life can be very hard and confusing." » 3/17/15 8:49am 3/17/15 8:49am

Hummus. Everyone here eats it cold. And you can eat it cold, if you want. You're not going to die or anything. But your're fucking doing it wrong if you are. Room temperature with a little olive oil and paprika and pine nuts is right. Cold is not right. » 3/16/15 2:27pm 3/16/15 2:27pm

On the one hand, this seems like another big bowl of nothing to get rid of her before she even gets going. On the other hand, how fucking hard is it to follow protocol, especially if you have aspirations for the presidency AND you're familiar with how shit works and tides turn in public office AND you know that they… » 3/10/15 3:51pm 3/10/15 3:51pm